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Conversations with myself

getting crazy anxiety  -  shit’s about to get real

I’m tired of people not listening or caring. of being emotionally constipated. I have so much to get off my chest.
I’m ready to get out of here
»…..wait, am I?…. yeah. definitely.
What if it “doesn’t work out”? 
»It always works out. You know that.
What if it hurts?
»Sitting, getting stale,settling and saying “what if..” hurts a lot more. 
It is all so strange though. I just want my family to want me as much as I want them and not just be confused. I’m helplessly in love. I’m worried about my cat and how he’ll handle the weather and the traveling-What if it is not what I dreamed? People are so…people. and it gets so hard-
»This is something you’ve known for a while. Cry if you must but either which way time will continue to pass. It might not be what you dreamed but is still ~your~ dream (lucid dreaming is possible)

It really pisses me off when people say they’re “jealous of me” because of my body type and that I’m “lucky” to look like I do-

No.
I’ve lost a lot of weight…and I continue to work. I go on runs. I do the best I can to stay on my fitness/yoga regimen. I treat my body like a temple because I plan on being here for a while. I fuel myself the way I feel my body should be run.
Luck? No.
Jealous? Don’t tell me about it, join me for a run.

  • So, this means, because I am small, I won’t fight when people disrespect me or my body? or it’s ok for people to grab my ass? Or assume that I am vain? 

NOOOOOO!!! none of this is correct! what the fuck is up with this new fad of people treating me like a fucking piece of meat? I’ve needed to punch 3 people for grabbing me this week. 
I am many things other than what my body contains!

I really shouldn’t have to feel obligated to spell this out but;
Little known fact; women like being treated like people - not objects.